Thursday, January 27, 2005
i was
SO pissed, i wanted to scream and run down to strangle my father's mother that very moment, but the anger dissolved within 10 seconds. now now, where did it go?
i just hope its gone for good. and does not have any side effect on my life. coz this is the typical outcome. if its unhealthy, then i think ill die real soon at this rate.
SHE. that B*TCH. had to touch MY stuff, and now i (wtf) cant find some important stuff! i already told her like, a few hundred times to not lay any of her fingers or toes or whatever on any of my things. she just ignored me. LIKE I WAS TALKING TO A WALL THAT ARGUES,STINKS,WALKS AND ANNOYS ME.
no, dammit! after she laid her pesky fingers on my table, i couldnt find my $30 borders gift card. and it was IN MY ROOM. and im so sure about it thats y i felt so bloody angry
why god, tell me, why!!! why does she live so damn long???! WHY! look. no one on earth wants her, so why dont you take her away please please please do us this favor ...arrrrrrrrrrrrrr
after the anger goes away, i get the very calm sense of feeling taking over. i feel unusually calm, and nothing goes on in my head, but i feel like crying
i do think im too tired. of life.
if i do go crazy someday, no one should find it strange. if someday joce-lyn 'dies', jjaymie should know why. i live in fear. it could be anyday, maybe this very night.
and i do get this very strong attraction to wicca. but i promised god. im stuck in between, suffocated. i should decide soon.
xoxo
joce-lyn
10:08 PM
